We ran into each other at a party

Dating my ex girlfriends best friend

You've got a hell of a decision to make. Of course, that's going to hurt. This conversation will not go well.

Try to take a few quiet moments from your day to reflect on the act of forgiveness, in all its forms. Inherently, it's a selfish thing. You get a new and even prettier girlfriend, or hang out with your friends more, or get into jiu jitsu or knitting.

But sometimes you

It's possible that you've got an uncommon romance on your hands. Franck Allais for the Guardian I split up with my ex a year ago and quickly started dating. Too much focus on distant and elusive peaks, and it can get pretty messy on your path.

But sometimes, you have to do inadvisable things for love. Because, again, you're declaring to an old friend that you're prepared to disregard his feelings.

Because again you're

Tom found out, and he never forgave me. What we do know is that he is really, really good at dating. There's no two ways about it. That's the truth of the situation.

Now, if you're sure that this is not you, that this is Real Love you're looking at, then what you have to do is tell your friend what's up. Over the last couple of weeks, I've been hanging out with a close friend's ex-girlfriend, platonically, after we ran into each other at Starbucks. If you feel fluttery every time you talk to a pretty girl, keep that in mind. There are rare instances when people establish a real friendship afterwards, but that requires a suitable cooling-off time first. The problem is, my friend had a deep relationship with this girl, and I think he's still kind of in love with her.

Those two things are so, so easily confused. It's a fun illusion, which, if pursued, might reveal a great relationship, or might not. Ultimately, dating a friend's ex is inadvisable.